Word Count: 5467
Summary: After coming out of the closet to his friends in Canada and getting disowned by them, Pierre Bouvier moves to a hick town in the states to escape. Life is dull and grim for the twenty-one year old Canadian until he meets David Desrosiers, a young man who could change it all for the better.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: Hi. :)
David was leaned against his locker with the door open, smiling dreamily at the note clutched in his hand as a soft sigh escaped him. Was Pierre for real? Or was he simply too good to be true? When he’d woken up the morning after their date and found an empty bed, David’s first instinct had been to panic. Did Pierre ditch him? Did he simply leave hoping that when he got back David would be gone too? Everything he’d said to David, the way he’d come off — the story, the innocence — had it all been a lie? All of those thoughts were wiped from his mind when he’d found the note on Pierre’s nightstand — which, adorably enough, had been scrawled on the back of a wrinkled receipt — and he’d instantly allowed himself to relax into Pierre’s bed again.
He’d taken Pierre’s invitation at his word, taking advantage of his shower and his kitchen, though as Pierre had warned in his note, most of the food in it was expired or very near expiration. David had felt slightly self-conscious as he waited for Pierre to return from work, due to the fact that the shower had washed away all of the little things that had attracted Pierre to David in the first place. His black eyeliner was no where to be seen around his deep hazel eyes, and his hair was anything but the silky smooth sheet of raven hair that Pierre was used to. Would he still find David attractive without those things? Suddenly David wished he hadn’t taken a shower at all, though after the night they’d had, not taking one really wasn’t an option. Showers were always necessary after sex, there just wasn’t any way around it.
Again, he found Pierre surprising him. When he returned for work, he seemed truly ecstatic that David was still there. The fact that David’s face was bare and his hair wasn’t straightened didn’t bug him in the slightest; if anything, he found David adorable. The two spent the rest of that day together. David had forced Pierre to go grocery shopping and they prepared dinner together that night. They talked casually while soft music played from the radio, and Pierre didn’t even notice as ‘I Fall For You’ played through the room. David seemed to make everything else disappear, like having to work or listening to a song that usually made him want to cry, and David certainly felt the same. The world seemed to freeze around them when they were together and suddenly only he and Pierre existed.
It was with a stab of disappointment that David realized he had school the next morning. When Pierre dropped him off at home that night, the goodbye kiss in the car left David aching for more of Pierre; more of his touch, more of his kiss, more of his presence. That night, as he laid in his bed listening to his favorite CD, Vous êtes ici, and staring at the posters on his wall, it occurred to him that he liked Pierre more than anyone he’d ever liked in his life, and he’d only truly spent two nights with him. The two hardly knew anything about each other, yet there was this force that seemed to pull them toward each other. He hadn’t expected this when asking Pierre out; he hadn’t expected to feel so strongly for him so quickly. Perhaps the two were headed somewhere spectacular. If the past two nights were any inclination to how a relationship with Pierre would be, David had to believe that they had a beautiful future in store.
David was pulled back to reality when he felt his locker door slamming into the side of his body, earning a startled yell from him as he dropped the note in his locker and jumped out of the way. He turned quickly, his back coming to a rest against the locker next to his, his eyes wide and his chest heaving.
“Watch where you’re going, Staple Face,” a boy said as he walked by. As David watched the boy walk by, the two sharing an intense glare, it suddenly occurred to David how similar he looked to Pierre. He was tall, perhaps a few inches taller than Pierre, and much along the lines of the same build, though this boy was perhaps a bit more toned. He was the quarterback of the high school football team, after all.
“Fuck off, Troy,” David spat at him, feeling a surge of pleasure at the anger that flared behind Troy’s dark brown eyes. David swallowed as he took in the importance of another similarity. Troy ran a hand through his short, messy, brown hair, and David felt himself growing rather uncomfortable. He’d never realized how much alike they really looked.
As Troy walked close to him and placed a large hand on David’s chest, pushing him hard against his locker and staring heatedly into David’s eyes, however, David knew that Troy and Pierre couldn’t have been more different. Pierre would never hurt David the way Troy strived to on a daily basis. So Troy and Pierre were both tall, muscular, handsome guys with brown hair and eyes? It wasn’t as if he’d planned it that way.
“Watch how you talk to me,” Troy growled, his voice low, angry, though it was almost sensual at the same time.
David didn’t say anything to the taller boy, whose hand was still pressing him hard against the locker. He simply stared up at him, glaring hard, emanating hatred from every pore. Troy gave a soft laugh and smirked as he pushed harder against David’s chest once, before turning and continuing down the hall, not offering another word. David stared after him, his facial expression blank and his chest rising and falling heavily when he realized that Pierre had made him forget about yet another thing, something that he had to take care of before he could get any further with the sweet Canadian.
When David felt his pocket buzz, he pulled out his phone and looked at it, noticing a new text from the man he’d just been thinking of.
David felt the anger draining from his chest as he stared at Pierre’s text, allowing himself a gentle smile, though soon a feeling of dread welled inside his chest at what he knew he had to do first. He swallowed hard as he responded, deciding on a covered version of the truth.
kid on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but today’s my last day…
so is it okay if I come over around five?
David watched his phone apprehensively, biting his lips together as he waited for Pierre’s text. He felt guilty, as if he was lying to him, though he knew it would be better this way. His heart jumped in his chest when he got Pierre’s reply, and he opened it quickly, expecting Pierre to be skeptical, to see right through him, to tell him to just not come over at all.
Why should he have expected any different from Pierre, the most decent guy he’d ever met in his life? David’s feeling of not being good enough for Pierre only increased, though that didn’t stop him from sending his response.
He placed his phone back in his pocket and looked down the hall in the direction that Troy disappeared, feeling his anticipation mounting uncomfortably. With a sigh, he pushed himself off of the locker and turned back to his own. He picked up Pierre’s note and folded it carefully, remembering the way he’d made fun of Pierre’s messy handwriting, asking him if he’d written the note with his feet. The wrestling match that had followed that statement still made David feel fuzzy inside when he thought of it; the way he and Pierre had ended up on the couch, with Pierre laying on top of him, smiling softly down at him before he leaned down and gave David the sweetest, most gentle kiss he’d ever received. The abrupt difference from what he was used to was enough to make David want to cry, though he fought against that with everything in him. It was amazing being around someone so… wonderful.
With a sigh, David put the note back on the top shelf of his locker and closed it, before heading to the last place in the town that he wanted to go. It amazed him how okay it had all seemed before he met Pierre. Now he saw it all for what it truly was: fucked up beyond belief. He knew with Pierre around, he would have no problem saying no this time. Pierre gave him a reason to want to find happiness — true happiness, not the fucked up comfort he’d allowed himself to take part in for the past year. He would continue to think of Pierre and everything would be alright.
When David was standing in front of a large front door, he took a deep breath and walked in. He made his way quickly to Troy’s bedroom, where he knew he would be, sitting at his desk and working on his homework. It wasn’t a lie that David was paid to tutor Troy Baker, though David was headed there to do anything but tutor the other boy. He gave a soft knock before slowly opening the door, offering a weak smile as he walked in.
Troy turned quickly, smiling at David as if he’d never been more glad to see him. Oh yeah. That was where the problems had started. Troy was absolutely gorgeous when he wasn’t tearing David down in front of the whole school. “David,” he said softly as he walked over to him, his hands instantly finding David’s face as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on David’s lips, one which David returned out of habit, though his usual heart wasn’t in it. Still, his hands found Troy’s sides, grasping at them weakly. Slowly Troy pulled away, looking down at David cautiously. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.
David swallowed hard as he stared into his eyes, feeling guilt tearing at his insides. No, he didn’t care about Troy in that sense, but did he want to break his heart? David gave a soft sigh and looked down at the ground, hating himself for what he was about to do. “Andrew,” he said softly, calling Troy by the name he always called him when they were together, his middle name.
Troy’s hands were on David’s cheeks, pulling his face back up. His gentle touch made David feel even worse. “What’s wrong?” he asked again, though now there was a hard edge of suspicion on his voice.
David forced himself to look into Troy’s eyes, not allowing himself to look guilty or sad in the slightest. His expression was hard and defiant as he spoke. “I can’t do this anymore.”
There was a flicker of pain behind Troy’s brown eyes, though almost immediately it was replaced with a kind of defiant anger. “Why?” he asked, his voice loud and hard.
David shook his head slowly, telling himself not to be afraid. He had been expecting this reaction more than sadness. He knew Troy wouldn’t be able to admit to himself that it hurt. “You know why,” David said quietly.
“Because of what I said at school?” Troy asked quickly, and David shook his head again. “You know I don’t mean that shit! It’s just part of the act, isn’t it?” Again, David shook his head. Troy grabbed hard onto his face and held it still. “STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD AT ME!” he screamed, and David’s eyes widened in fear. “Is there someone else?” Troy asked suddenly. David’s expression was blank as he stared at Troy. “Is this about that guy you were at the mall with on Saturday?”
“How did you know about that?” David whispered nervously.
“Ally was talking about seeing you there with another guy… said it looked like you were together,” Troy told him quietly; his voice was practically shaking in anger.
“Fuck,” David muttered nervously, and without consciously thinking about it, his grip on Troy’s sides tightened, almost as if looking to him for support. Troy seemed to take comfort in that, because the hard look on his face relaxed slightly as he stared down at David. “So now the whole school knows?” David asked weakly.
Troy shook his head, his grip on David’s face becoming softer. “No, I made everyone think she was wrong.”
David blinked up at Troy slowly. “You would do that for me?” David asked weakly, surprised that Troy would stand up for him like that in public.
“Yeah, I told everyone she was probably high or something ‘cause who would ever go out with you?” Troy said, and as he said this, it was with an air of having done David a favor, in spite of the way he had talked about him. David stared up at him incredulously, feeling his anger spiking again. “What?” Troy asked innocently.
“Thanks, Andrew. Thanks a lot. Just make everyone in school think I’m that much more of a loser,” David spat at him.
“Hey, I have a reputation to protect, alright?” Troy responded quickly. David scoffed and rolled his eyes, trying to turn his head away, though Troy held his face strongly in place. “Don’t look away from me,” Troy demanded, and with a look of absolute hatred, David looked back at him. “I was trying to protect you. Everyone already hates you. I was just doing it the only way I could.”
David’s jaw clenched as he thought about Troy’s words. He hated how true they were. He sighed and looked down, feeling his anger wearing away again. Though Troy’s words had been wrong, David knew he was only trying to help in his own fucked up way. “Well no, this isn’t about Pierre. He has nothing to do with this,” David said, though it was only half true.
Troy’s eyes widened and he scoffed loudly. “Pierre?!” he asked with a laugh. David looked up at him quickly, fire jumping again into his chest. Troy could tear him down, but David wouldn’t allow him to insult Pierre. “What kind of fucked up faggot name is Pierre?!”
“Fuck you!” David yelled at him. Instantly the laughter died from Troy’s features to be replaced again with that same, angry scowl. “This isn’t about him. It’s about me and you and this fucked up thing we’re doing. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you constantly putting me down in front of everyone else and cuddling up to me as soon as we’re behind closed doors! It’s not healthy! It’s not right! I don’t know what the fuck we’ve been doing for the past year, but I’m done,” David told him angrily.
“So that’s it then? What, you’re breaking up with me?” Troy asked loudly.
David stared blankly up at Troy. “How can I break up with you? We’re not even in a relationship!” David pointed out quickly.
“So all this… it’s just been nothing for you? Just a way to pass the time until someone you like better comes along?”
“Oh please. Don’t try to pretend like we ever meant anything to each other,” David spat quickly.
“Well you meant something to ME!” Troy screamed, and as he did, he pushed hard against David, causing him to slam his head back against the door. David let out a started scream of pain and closed his eyes quickly, feeling the room swimming around him and his head spinning. “Sorry if I don’t live up to your expectations of a good boyfriend, David! I’m doing the best I can!”
“The best you can?” David asked incredulously, his eyes still squinted closed against the spinning room. He tried his hardest to push the ache in his head away, not wanting to feel it, but God, did it hurt. Slowly David opened his eyes and stared hard at Troy. The fact that Troy had seen himself as David’s boyfriend shocked David more than he could say. “What did you think was gonna happen? We were gonna keep doing this for the rest of our lives? Did you think after high school we were gonna get a house and I was just gonna hide in it all the time? So that you can be happy but still protect your precious reputation? So that the world never has to find out that Troy Baker is gay?!”
David knew the punch was coming before Troy even started to move. He’d broken two of their biggest rules in one sentence: he’d called him Troy and he’d called him gay. David was strictly forbidden from doing either of those things when they were together. He closed his eyes again and fell forward when Troy’s fist found his stomach, knocking every last ounce of air from his lungs. Troy pushed away from David and walked across the room, turning his back to him. Without Troy’s arms holding him up, David fell to the floor, clutching his middle. And though it hurt, David felt that he’d deserved that punch. He’d broken the rules and he completely understood why Troy had reacted the way he had; their strange relationship had twisted his mind enough for that.
“I-I’m sorry,” David stuttered weakly as he forced himself to stand again.
Troy kept his back turned to David, though David saw his body stiffen at his words. The way he stood — with his arms crossed over his stomach, his hands grasping desperately at the material of his shirt — told David just how hurt the other boy was, even if he wouldn’t come out and say it. The mere fact that he’d expressed emotion for David told David just how out of control their situation had gotten. David had never expected to mean anything to Troy, much less for the quarterback to admit it. It completely floored him, though it changed nothing about the situation they found themselves in. They were done and nothing would change that.
David gave a soft sigh and pulled his backpack off of one shoulder, digging in the front pocket for something he’d been carrying for the past two weeks and hadn’t yet gotten up the courage to give to Troy. “I have something for you,” he said quietly; his voice shook slightly, a souvenir of the punch he’d just endured. Still, Troy gave no sign of recognition. David placed his backpack on the ground and walked slowly over to where Troy was standing. He leaned close to him as he placed a thick envelope on the other boy’s desk, noticing as Troy’s attention shifted to the item. “This is everything your parents have paid me over the last year, since we’ve been… doing whatever it is we’ve been doing,” David said softly. “I never spent any of it… it just didn’t feel right,” he told him gently. “I figured I’d just give it back to you so you can do something for you for a change.”
This was an odd moment between the two boys. They normally didn’t speak of things when they were together and David rarely gave his opinion on Troy’s life and the way he lived it, though in that moment, David couldn’t keep it in anymore. “You don’t do anything for yourself… football, the colleges you applied to… just everything you do, Andrew, you do it for your parents. I want you to take this and do something you want to do.” David waited a moment for Troy to respond, though when he continued to stare at the envelope on the desk, David gave another soft sigh and turned around, heading toward Troy’s bedroom door. He stopped with his hand on the handle, his lips bitten together. “Maybe someday you’ll see how wonderful you are… not this person you think you have to be for everyone else. You’re not just some opportunity. You’re not the life your parents never got to live. You’re your own person with your own wishes and dreams, even if you don’t know how to be him yet. I hope you figure it out someday…”
David stood there for another few seconds, wondering if Troy was ever going to speak to him again. When his words were met with more silence, he shook his head slowly and opened the door. “No.” David stopped and turned in time to see Troy coming at him. He quickly moved away from the door, his back coming to rest against Troy’s bedroom wall. His eyes widened as Troy slammed his door closed again before advancing on him. He grabbed David’s arm and jerked him violently away from the wall. David’s brow furrowed as he did his best to keep from stumbling and falling, his hand prying at Troy’s much larger hand on his arm. “Stop it, you’re hurting me,” David said quickly, though Troy made no movement to let go of him.
“We’re not done until I say we’re done,” Troy told him, before throwing David roughly down on his bed. David tried to get up, though Troy’s hands instantly pushed him back down before he climbed on top of him. David pushed against his chest, giving soft cries of distress as he fought against the much taller, more muscular boy.
“Stop it!” David said again, though this time it was a plea, not a demand. It was easy to hear the panic in his cries as Troy pushed him down onto his back, his hands finding David’s wrists and holding them down against the bed easily. “Please! Stop!” David cried, and instantly tears sprung to his eyes.
But before he could do anything, Troy’s lips were on his, kissing him roughly. David tried to move away from his kiss, though Troy held his wrists together in one hand and placed the other hand in David’s hair, pulling and holding him firmly in place as the tears began to flow down the sides of his face. And then Troy’s hands had released their hold on him and were instead grabbing onto his body, trying to take off his clothes, trying to turn him over. David pushed against him, the panic rising in his chest and making it impossible for him to see clearly. “Stop fighting me and just admit that you want this, like you always do!” Troy commanded, though his words were soaked with pain. Had David not been so afraid, he might have felt bad for Troy.
David shook his head frantically, his hands continuing to push against the taller boy, though within seconds, David was on his stomach, his face being held sideways onto Troy’s bed. “Please… stop…” David whispered in a sob, his entire body shaking as Troy’s free hand moved around to the front of his jeans and rubbed hard against it. David took no pleasure from that touch; if anything, it hurt in every part of his body. David had never felt so small and insignificant as when Troy pulled down his pants and roughly pushed into him, despite how much he struggled and cried.
“Just admit you want this,” Troy pleaded with him. “I’m the only one that cares about you,” Troy told him softly. “You could disappear and no one would miss you… but I would. You don’t have any friends. You’re a loser. But I’ll always be here for you… I’m all you have, David,” he continued quietly. Fresh tears continued to cascade down David’s cheeks as he took in Troy’s words, in that moment knowing them to be true. Who would care if he disappeared? Who would look for him? What friends did he have to miss him? David cried harder, though he managed to silence his sobs by hiding his face in Troy’s pillow, his hands grabbing two large handfuls of the taller boy’s bedding.
David didn’t move once Troy was off of him; not to pull up his pants, not to wipe his tears, not even to run away. He simply laid there, crying into the other boy’s pillow, feeling more dirty and broken than he’d ever felt before. He felt Troy’s hands on his pants, pulling them back up gently; David thought it hurt more that Troy was being gentle with him now, because the sick part was that Troy actually cared about him. When he was pulled against Troy’s body, David felt the very strong urge to vomit, though he focused his hardest on ignoring that feeling and instead controlling his tears. The fact that Troy was holding him tenderly, his hands stroking his hair and his back in a sweet gesture, made David want to run and scream and never come back, though he was too afraid that Troy would hurt him again if he tried to leave, so he simply laid there, waiting for Troy to tell him he could leave, that he was done with him.
The soft kiss that Troy had placed on his lips as he left tore at David’s heart. He could still feel him as he walked, could still feel Troy’s rough hands on his face and his hips, feel him pounding into him with unforgiving force, feel his gentle, loving touches when all was said and done, feel his lips on his own; it made him feel sick. It made him feel dirty. It made him feel used. It made him feel worthless. Troy’s words continued to bounce around the back of David’s mind as he limped down the street, hardly paying attention to where he was going. “I‘m the only one that cares about you. You could disappear and no one would miss you… but I would. You don’t have any friends. You’re a loser. But I’ll always be here for you… I’m all you have, David.” Was it true? Yes, David told himself weakly. He believed every word that Troy had whispered tenderly to him as he held him down and raped him, immobilizing him with his words more than his body. If David hadn’t found himself in front of a newly familiar door, he might’ve just died.
Had he been trying to go to Pierre’s apartment? David had simply been walking, trying not to let his thoughts smother him, trying not to let the feel of Troy’s large hands destroy the last vestiges of his childlike soul, and found himself standing there. Now that he was there, he didn’t have the strength to turn away. He knocked slowly before crossing his arms over his stomach, his body hunched slightly in self-loathing. What had he done to really stop Troy? He’d laid there and cried, allowing the taller boy to get into his mind and render him completely useless. He’d never felt more worthless in his life.
When the door opened, David was met with the sight of Pierre’s beaming face, though as soon as Pierre got a good look at David, his smile dropped and he was stepping over the threshold, his hands gently finding David’s face. “David, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, reminding David forcibly of the way his conversation with Troy had started that same day. David shook his head quickly before falling against Pierre’s chest, his body shaking as he cried harder than he’d ever cried before. Pierre’s eyes widened and his body flooded with panic, though he managed to wrap his arms around David’s smaller body and hold him tighter against him. “David, what happened?” he tried again, though David simply continued to cry, his hands clinging to Pierre’s back in desperation. How had he forgotten about Pierre? Pierre cared about him. Pierre didn’t think he was a loser.
Pierre closed his eyes and told himself to breathe as David’s cries grew more desperate. “Come on, Dave,” he said softly, attempting to take a step back, though David continued to hold tightly to him as if he’d never needed anything more than he needed Pierre’s comfort. Perhaps it was a lot to ask, as they weren’t even in a relationship, but David could hardly explain to himself how much he needed Pierre to make everything okay again. Seeing that David was clearly not able to move, Pierre gave him a soft kiss on the top of his head, before bending down slightly and picking the smaller boy up, transferring him easily to the bridal position in his arms. David’s arms clung desperately around Pierre’s neck, his fingers tangling in Pierre’s short brown hair as he hid his face in his neck.
Pierre pulled his front door closed with some difficulty before taking David over to the couch and sitting him down on it. Pierre pulled back and looked down at him for a moment, realizing just how much David looked like a teenage boy, scared and upset. Slowly Pierre sat down next to him, and instantly David’s arms were around him again, selfishly using as much of Pierre’s comfort as he would offer. Pierre held David against his body and offered it all, giving him his entire heart. It had been David’s since the first moment he met him and he had no intention of pulling it away when the other boy needed it most.
Over the night, Pierre tried time and time again to get David to tell him what was wrong, to tell him what had happened, but every time he mentioned it, David would simply start to leak tears again. Eventually Pierre gave up, feeling completely helpless, though his mere presence seemed to make David feel better. David stared at Pierre that night as they laid in his bed, feeling that going into that gas station the day he met Pierre had been the best decision of his life. Pierre laid David on his back and was leaning over him, finger combing his hair gently, occasionally placing gentle kisses on his face; his forehead, his cheeks, his jaw, his lips. While this made David feel better, it tore at his insides at the same time.
“I don’t deserve you,” David whispered, his voice cracking weakly, though as he spoke, his hands clung desperately to Pierre’s body, as if he knew he didn’t deserve Pierre but he couldn’t help but take him anyway.
Pierre’s eyes saddened as he stared down at David, shocked by his words — the first words that he’d spoken to him all night. “David… you’re the most beautiful, most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life,” Pierre told him slowly and firmly, and again, tears began to drip slowly from the corners of David’s eyes, though his face didn’t contort in pain; it was as if his eyes simply leaked tears of their own accord. “If anything, I don’t deserve you…” Pierre told him softly. David’s tears began to fall faster as he stared into Pierre’s beautiful brown eyes. “Are you eventually gonna tell me what happened?” Pierre asked softly.
David gave a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t think you wanna know,” David whispered weakly.
Pierre sighed softly and shook his head. “Dave… I wanna help,” Pierre told him gently.
David stared up at Pierre for a moment, before his weak smile widened slightly. “You are helping,” David whispered. “By caring… you’re helping.”
Pierre swallowed hard and continued to run his hands slowly through David’s smooth, black hair. “Of course I care about you,” Pierre told him quietly. “David… you already mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever known in my life, and I just met you.” Did Pierre know how perfect his words were? Did he know how badly David needed to hear them? Perhaps he could sense this in the way David dug his fingers into his back; perhaps he could see it in the way David stared desperately up at him.
Those were the last words spoken between the two that night and they were absolutely perfect. Even in his sleep, David didn’t let go of Pierre, though not once did he turn his back to him. David didn’t know if he would feel safe with a man behind him ever again after what Troy did to him, even Pierre, someone he placed a ridiculous amount of trust in, especially considering they hardly knew each other. The idea just brought chills to his limbs and David found himself thinking of what he’d gone through that night and how it had broken him in every way. Pierre seemed to be the glue that would piece him back together, and David couldn’t have been more grateful to have him.