Word Count: 4208
Summary: After coming out of the closet to his friends in Canada and getting disowned by them, Pierre Bouvier moves to a hick town in the states to escape. Life is dull and grim for the twenty-one year old Canadian until he meets David Desrosiers, a young man who could change it all for the better.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
“God, you're so beautiful, David... You don't even know, do you? You don't even know how much you mean to me... or how lost I would be without you... or how much I...” Pierre trailed off quietly, smiling in a dazed fashion. He was leaning against the gas pump closest to the street, facing the competing gas station with his hands tucked in his pockets in an attempt to keep them warm from the bitter, mid-January air. He watched his boyfriend across the street as the boy talked animatedly with the customer he was helping and Pierre couldn't keep the loving smile from his features. In his entire twenty-two years of being alive, Pierre had never met anyone quite like David Desrosiers. He was smart, he was funny, he was incredibly sexy, and yet he could turn around and be sweet, innocent, childlike and down-right naïve. David looked across the street when the customer he had been helping pulled away and he smiled, giving a big, excited wave to the older man. Pierre's soft smile widened to a grin and he waved back, though his wave was far more subdued than his boyfriend's had been. It amazed him that after everything they had been through, all it took was David waving at him to brighten Pierre's entire day. That one wave alone was worth standing in the snow when he could have been inside instead. Pierre would brave any element to see David's smiling face.
Living without Sebastien and Patrick had proven to be very different for the two love birds. The first week had been stained with an undeniable feeling of sadness. After seeing his oldest friend on a daily basis, it had been hard for Pierre to get used to living without him again. He had lost four years of time with his best friend and having the man constantly around had felt like nothing more than making up for lost time. Having Sebastien back had been wonderful; whenever Pierre needed to vent his feelings about something he was going through with David, whether they were good feelings or bad, he had been able to talk to Sebastien again. How Pierre had missed him when they hadn't been talking, so much so that for years he couldn't even bring himself to talk about him and the mere sight of him on David's laptop screen had been enough to make Pierre lose his mind. Getting Sebastien back had felt like a huge step forward, like there was a hole in his heart that had been mended again and now he was gone. The first week of re-learning how to live without his best friend had definitely been the hardest for Pierre.
Then there was Patrick. Pierre had never been as close with Patrick as he had been with Sebastien, but it couldn't be denied that the two had been close. How many years had the three of them been inseparable? How many times had he told Patrick his secrets, trusted him with his demons? How many times had Patrick helped carry Pierre's burdens? Though he hadn't been very happy to see Patrick when he had first arrived in Junction, the man had found his place in Pierre's heart once again in a relatively short period of time. Things had finally started to feel like they used to, only this time it was better because on top of having his two best friends, Pierre had been blessed with an amazing boyfriend. And as if it couldn't have been more perfect, David fit in with the two flawlessly, even if he did have an extra sparkle in his eyes when he looked at them.
Breaking the news to David had been an entirely different experience than telling Pierre had been. While Sebastien had told Pierre in the middle of the reception in a room full of people and the conversation had taken place between just the two of them, Sebastien, Pierre and Patrick all knew that telling David was going to be much more difficult. He had become extremely attached to both of them, and not just because he had spent the better part of a year idolizing and fawning over the two. They had waited until the reception was over and the four of them were in their two bedroom hotel room. David could tell instantly that something was up from the way they sat him down, and the sad looks that all three men held on their faces. It had been no surprise to any of them that no sooner than the words were spoken, David started to cry. They had been surprised by him, however, when the first thing he did was stand up and latch onto Patrick. A look of shock had appeared on Patrick's face but his arms had wrapped around David and he simply stood there holding the younger boy. David had been much more taken with Patrick than any of them would have seen coming.
When David and Pierre had arrived back in America and gotten to the tiny apartment that would be just theirs from that moment on, it had been a strange moment. It was as if for the first time it was really their place, somewhere they shared together; it felt much more like a sign of deep commitment than it had previously. So though they knew they should have been enjoying their moments to themselves, the first week was a somber one, and David had managed to cry almost every night, even if only for a few minutes. There was a part of David that felt stupid for crying over the absence of his two friends because not once had he seen Pierre shed a tear over it. There were times when the man's eyes might have gotten a little bit extra glossy, but he never cried; to that day, David had still only seen Pierre cry twice: immediately after hitting David and once again during their first conversation since the altercation. If Pierre could hold it together, David felt that he should have too. Pierre had more reason to cry than he did, after all.
After that first week, however, things started to feel normal. Though the apartment had felt kind of empty at first, David and Pierre were quickly starting to see the upsides to living alone. They no longer had to muffle their moans when having sex and if either of them wanted a glass of water in the middle of the night, it didn't matter if they were naked because there was no one but the dog to see them, and their giant great dane hardly cared if they didn't throw on a pair of boxers. In the past, alone time had been hard to come by. Every second they had found themselves only in each others company was time in which they could have been hopelessly romantic without having to worry about prying eyes and ears. Now the two had nothing but time for each other. It made every night feel like a date night, even if they did nothing more than make dinner together and watch a movie on the couch; it only fueled the feelings of love they had both been feeling. The two were finally getting a glimpse of what it would be like to be alone together for the rest of their lives, and neither could say they disliked it, though neither was quite used to it at the same time; after three weeks of nothing but alone time, it still felt strange... Good but strange.
Pierre was pulled from his thoughts when a snowball hit him on the arm; he hadn't even honestly realized he had been lost in his own mind until that moment. He jumped slightly and blinked himself back to reality, though the moment he realized what his boyfriend had done, he grinned and began to laugh, reminded hopelessly of the first time he had seen David working at the gas station across the street. It felt strange that it had been a year ago that David had thrown that first snow ball and made Pierre the happiest man on the planet. As he scooped one up and threw it back across the street, missing David as he jumped behind a gas pump, Pierre thought of that first week of flirting across the street, up to his second time ever talking to David. Would he ever forget the way he had tried to conquer his fear and gone across the street to help the younger boy change the numbers on the price sign? Or the way David had grinned at the Frenchness of Pierre's name? Or the unfinished question: “So, do you wanna—”?
The two continued their snowball fight from across the street, neither being interrupted by customers; really, people in that town didn't do much driving when the snow was falling and the roads were iced over. Now that he had started, Pierre couldn't stop himself from thinking of the beginning of his relationship with David, from the way David had left his number on a piece of noteboook paper with the words “text me” and a smiley face, to the way the younger boy had spilled hot chocolate all over his hand and Pierre smeared mustard over the burn to help the pain; to that day, it still amazed him that he had ended that strange encounter with a date. As he launched another snowball across the street and heard the squawk David made when it hit him, his mind continued to take him over the duration of their relationship, all the good and the bad and even though it felt as if there had been a disproportionate amount of bad memories to good ones, he couldn't find it in him to resent David for any of it; it all lead to how deeply he loved the boy now.
Of course, there were times when Troy crossed Pierre's mind and he found himself getting incredibly angry and hurt all over again. There were times when he wondered if he had made the right choice, and if he would have made that same choice had he not felt so guilty over hitting David. What if he had made a huge mistake in trusting David again? What if David only hurt him again? What if he was setting himself up for the worst heartache he had ever encountered? There were times when Pierre wondered if he was being weak, if he was only staying with David because he was afraid to be without him, and if his love for the younger boy was blinding him to the inescapable truth that they had messed their relationship up too entirely; what if they just weren't meant to be? Pierre had always been a huge believer in fate and destinies... what if fate had been trying to send them a message? What if they weren't suppose to end up together?
But then Pierre would look at David; he would take in every detail of his face, he would stare into his gorgeous hazel eyes, he would see that beautifully imperfect smile... and every bad thought and feeling would just melt away. How could he doubt that smile? How could he doubt those eyes? How could he doubt those feelings in his chest that made him feel as if he was soaring through the clouds? Every look, every touch, every kiss made Pierre that much more certain that he wanted to be with David for the rest of his life. Any time he started to doubt his own decision, all he had to do was look at his boyfriend and his resolve to make their relationship work no matter what only strengthened. He would love David for the rest of his life if David would let him because more than he knew anything, he knew that he would never find someone he loved more than he loved David, and as their one year anniversary drew steadily nearer, those feelings only got stronger. Now, three days away from the mark of their first year together, Pierre felt a tingle of excitement that he couldn't quite quell no matter how hard he tried. In three day's time, he would tell David that he loved him for the first time, and God, was he excited for it.
“Pierre!” David called from across the street. Perhaps on a normal day, it would have been hard for Pierre to hear him, but with very few cars on the road and the streets covered in snow, David's voice seemed to carry across the way very easily.
“David!” he replied with a smile as the snowball he had been forming fell from his hands.
“When's your next break?” David asked loudly.
Pierre turned to look at the large clock just down the street that was situated in front of the bank before turning back to David and replying, “Whenever I want! I should have gone ten minutes ago!”
“Come see me!” David instructed with a hop and a grin.
“I'm not allowed to leave!” Pierre reasoned quickly.
“Oh come on, chicken! It's just across the street!”
“Dave, I can't!”
“I'm not supposed to leave!”
“You did once before!”
Pierre stopped and stared across the street, smiling and rolling his eyes. Oh, David had to have his way exactly in the moment when he wanted. “Hold on!” he replied in a tone that suggested he was irritated, though the smile on his face ruined the effect. Pulling his walkie-talkie from his pocket, he brought it to face level and spoke into it. “Hey Wendy, do you mind if I run across the street for my break?”
There was a moment of silence before her voice came back over the radio; he wasn't surprised to hear the mocking tone in her voice. “Pierre and David, sittin' in a tree! Smooch smooch smooch!”
Pierre pushed the button and sighed into the radio, though he laughed gently just the same, glad that there was no one around to hear this conversation; he knew that Wendy would have never said anything like that if anyone had been around. “Is that a yes?”
“Yeah yeah, go for it, I'll send Rachael out.”
Pierre smiled at her, though she couldn't see it, and replied with a gentle, “Thanks, ma.” Placing the walkie-talkie back in his pocket, Pierre turned again toward the street and began to make his way over, laughing at the way David began to jump up and down and clap in excitement. Pierre walked to the edge of the sidewalk and looked from left to right, waiting as a few cars passed by him. Once the coast was clear, he stepped onto the street, slipping slightly but managing to keep his balance well enough by placing both hands out by his sides. As he made his way to the middle of the four lane road, a car pulling onto the street caught his attention and he sped up, watching the car coming at him from his left as his feet slid across the road with ease. It was with a carefree smile that he looked forward again and took another quick step, content to get to David so he could give him a hug and a kiss before finishing the last couple of hours of his shift. When his foot hit the ground, however, he wasn't met with the sure surface that he had been expecting; he lost control of his feet and he slid far forward, his arms flailing at his sides as he tried to slow himself down and keep himself from falling over.
When his body slowed down slightly and he found himself in the middle of the last lane of traffic he had to cross, Pierre felt a moment of relief and he laughed slightly, that feeling in his chest like he had just gone on a roller coaster; that moment was shattered by the sound of David's voice screaming, the sound of a blaring car horn, and the sound of tires screeching, desperately trying to stop. Pierre didn't have time to look before it hit. His eyes scrunched tightly closed as the front of a car collided unforgivingly with his body and he was flipped into the air, his body smashing against the windshield and rolling over the roof of the car. He bounced off of the hard ground a few times, his body rolling over and sliding across the icy street until finally, he was still, unable to move an inch or understand what had just happened. He hardly heard David's agonized screams as he lay there, stunned into stillness.
David lived that moment as if it was in slow motion. Though he was to Pierre in a matter of seconds, it felt as if it took a lifetime to get to him, and when he screamed, “PIERRE! NO!” his own voice was muffled in his ears. David's unsteady feet slipped as he attempted to run across the ice-covered street and he slipped forward, landing hard on his knees though it didn't slow him down for a second. He scrambled forward, not feeling the burning in his hands that the ice was leaving, or the hot tears that coated his face. All he could feel was his need to be with Pierre, to be at his side, to hold him. That moment between watching Pierre tumble over the roof of a car and pulling him into his lap felt like the longest moment of David's entire life.
Pierre's dazed eyes clicked back to existence when he felt himself being rolled over and pulled into someone's arms. He didn't have to look to know it was David; the touch of the boy's hands was familiar enough on his skin. He looked up at David, offering a weak smile, as his glossy brown eyes stared into David's teary hazel ones. “David...” Pierre tried to speak, though his voice barely left his throat.
“SOMEBODY CALL 911!” David screamed, looking around desperately and seeing several people already with their phones out.
“D-David...” Pierre tried again, this time a little more strongly, and instantly David was looking at Pierre again, his shaking hand trying to wipe the blood off of his boyfriend's head, though he only continued to bleed more profusely. David only sobbed harder at this. “David... p... please... don... don't cry,” Pierre whispered.
“You're gonna be okay,” David replied weakly, his voice thick with tears. “An ambulance is gonna come and you're gonna be okay.”
“Al... always the... the optimist, Dave...” Pierre tried to joke but David was far from laughing. He continued to stroke Pierre's cheek, holding onto his body as if hoping that by holding him tightly, Pierre would stay grounded on Earth. Pierre's eyes began to close and his head started to droop to the side, but David's hand was quickly on his face, pulling him back up.
“Stay with me!” David begged quickly, feeling a spike of hope when Pierre's eyes opened fully again. “Please! Just hold on! They're coming! Just stay with me! Please, please hold on!”
“Dave... I ne... I need you... t... to do something... for me...” Pierre breathed, his eyes closing slightly again as he tried his hardest to fight what he knew was coming. He was dying; he could feel it.
“Anything you want, Pierre, anything! Just please don't leave me!” David continued, crying hard but not for a second taking his eyes off of his boyfriend.
Pierre's eyes closed for a second and David felt his heart stop in his chest, though when Pierre took a deep, slow breath and opened his eyes again, he could feel that hope tingling again in his system. “Kiss me...” Pierre requested weakly. David's face crumpled and his body began to shake with heavy sobs, his tears falling from his open eyes and landing on Pierre's face. Pierre wanted more than anything in that moment to be able to reach up and wipe away his boyfriend's tears, to pull him down into a kiss like he had so many times before, but he just didn't have it in him.
“P-P-Pierre... pl-please don-don't talk l-like th-that...” David sobbed in a whisper. “Th-they're c-coming... you-you're g-gonna be f-fine...”
“Please David... Ki... Kiss me...”
Slowly David leaned down and pressed his lips to Pierre's, his heart aching at the way Pierre only half kissed him back, as if he didn't have enough energy to do something as simple as press his lips back against David's. David tried to hold it together, to kiss his boyfriend for what he refused to believe would be the last time, but he found himself sobbing and he pressed his forehead against Pierre's, smearing his blood against his pale forehead. David pulled back and looked down at Pierre, feeling a sharp jab in his chest when he saw tears began to leak from the corners of Pierre's eyes, trailing tragically down the sides of his cheeks and into his hair.
How long did they sit there like that, with Pierre's head in David's lap while David stroked his bloody cheek? Minutes felt like hours, hours of waiting for the ambulance to show up, to take Pierre to the hospital and save his life. With another slow, deep breath, Pierre worked up the energy to move his hand; he placed his hand over David's, the one he'd been using on Pierre's cheek, and simply held it there as he stared deeply into his boyfriend's eyes for what he knew would be the last time. Then, with everything that he had left in him, he parted his lips and spoke the words he had spent so long dreading, the words that he had intended to speak in the perfect moment. “I love you, David,” Pierre's voice came quietly.
David felt as if time stopped around them and he stared into Pierre's chocolate eyes, allowing the soft smile on Pierre's lips and his boyfriend's larger hand on his own to calm him slightly as those four words washed over him. There had once been a time when he had been terrified of hearing them, and now, as he lay in the dirty, snow covered street of Junction City with his boyfriend dying in his lap, all he wanted was to hear them over and over. “I love you too, Pierre,” David replied, his voice soft and thick with tears. There was a light in Pierre's eyes, a sparkle that David only recognized too well, though he had never realized before what it was. How many times had Pierre's eyes sparkled like that when he had looked at David? How had David never realized before that it was love? He felt like a fool now for never seeing it before. David never wanted to stop seeing that glimmer in his boyfriend's eyes.
And then Pierre's expression changed in the slightest of ways. Slowly the corners of his lips, which had been turned up in the weakest of smiles, began to drop. Slowly that light in his eyes began to fade. David felt Pierre's hand on his go limp; he felt as if his entire body ceased to function when that hand began to slide off of his. “No,” he begged in a whisper, though still his boyfriend's hand dropped off of his and fell limply to the ground, his arm straight out, his palm facing up, his fingers curled up toward the sky. “No!” David called to him, his hands slapping gently at Pierre's face, trying to make his lifeless eyes see him again. “No! Please! Please, come back!” David begged loudly, though no matter how many times he made this request, Pierre's deadened eyes didn't sparkle.
David leaned down and pulled Pierre up to him, hiding his face in his body as he screamed into his chest, letting all of his agony pour out of him. He would never know what it was like to kiss Pierre again and to feel him kiss him back. He would never know what it was like to be held again in Pierre's arms, to feel safe and secure once more, to hear Pierre speak the words that he should have been able to tell him millions of times over the life that they should have shared together. No body moved around them as they lay there, David crying like he had never cried before in his life and clinging desperately to the last bit of Pierre that he had left, the last bit of Pierre that he would ever have. Nothing would ever be okay because every reason David had ever had to keep going was gone. Everything was over. David's happiness was over. David's ability to keep fighting was over, and all because Pierre's life was over. Nothing would ever be alright again... because without Pierre there to tell him it would be, such a feat was surely impossible.
Everything was over.
Author's Note: Okay, so I know a lot of people were hoping that this end was going to change and I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone by not changing it... but I said from the beginning that this is how it would end. I know it's heart breaking (trust me... I'm bawling like a baby right now), I know it hurts, but this is just how this story ends. Tragic and awful, yes, but the only ending for this story. This is not the last chapter... just very close to it. Thanks to everyone that read and supported this story, and I really hope I don't ruin anyone's day with this...